that teaching is the occupation for me. As of lately, I have begun to ponder that question more and more. The amount of extra work that teachers put into their job, and the consistent reminder that their work is not done when the bell goes for the end of the day, has really begun to weigh on my mind. I have seen a few teachers and close friends suffer burn out from a life full of the teaching stresses. This never seemed to bother me before, but now, as I begin to see how easy it can happen, I have begun to second-guess myself and this career path. Is a job that takes all my energy all the time really worth it? I had always thought so, but lately I wasn't so sure.
I have one student in my class that has been a constant struggle for me. Her emotions (much like my younger self) tend to switch on and off faster than the weather changes in Christchurch--which for the record, is quite rapidly. I have been trying numerous tactics with her but nothing has seemed to work. We even made a special hand signal that she could use when she was beginning to feel frustrated, but alas, it was a total failure. After a few days without getting on the warning chart (our school's form of discipline which, in most cases, works immaculately), I thought that things were finally beginning to change. I was proved wrong when later that day she made it up to step three and spent the afternoon with the Deputy Principal. This same routine continued for the next day as well, and I was beginning to feel that I was back at square one.
Meanwhile, my class was, and still is, working on report writing. To break down the process for them we have them line their paragraphs with four headings: is, has, does, and lives. Once they've finished their first report, they can complete their next one on anything that they think is important to them. We have been studying heroes lately, and we have been spending a lot of time talking about role models, so many students had chosen this as a second topic.
My tough student had yet to submit any reports and I was beginning to feel a bit hopeless on what to do next. Things started looking up however, when she came to school that morning and greeted me with a big smile and was excited to share a few stories with me. She mentioned to me that she had finished all of her math work as well as TWO reports. I took her folders in and to be honest, was unsure of what to expect (she had previously handed into me information copied straight off the Internet). I flipped through her folder to find her pages coloured and bordered out (one of our requirements for A-1 quality). Things were starting to look up. I began to read the first lines of her report when I realized that she had chosen to write about me. Her writing, although not the best in the class, was definitely an improvement from previous work. I was confused at first, but as I continued to read, I realized that I was, slowly but surely, making an impact on her. She was beginning to feel happy again. This was a good day, both for her and for me. I thanked her for her work, and encouraged her to keep her motivation going; that she was a great student, and that I knew she could excel if she put her mind to it.
It is this student that has been able to gently remind me of the reasons that I enter into a often thankless occupation with great enthusiasm. I am well aware that this is not the last of her "bad days" but her "good" ones make every bad day seem a little more tolerable, and hopefully, they will continue to become few and far between. I loved the look of pride she had when handing in her work to me. I love that she is learning, and trying her best--despite many circumstances that seem to continually impede her. I love that she is happy to come to school to share with me her stories, both written and oral. But most of all, I love that no matter how much she pushes my buttons and challenges me in the classroom, that I can still see good in her, that I still am genuinely concerned about her, and that I become disappointed in myself on her "bad days" because I know that this particular method isn't working for her. I love that she forces me to reevaluate my teaching style and continually helps me become more creative. I love that she is there to help me understand why I want to teach.
I am by no means a perfect teacher, and know that it will take a while for me to become one. However, that being said, this student makes me feel like I am getting that much closer to becomming one. I am glad that I can make a difference in her life, and know that she is, and will continue to (probably long beyond my time in New Zealand) be making a difference in mine.
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1 comment:
Great blog posting. Anyone who thinks they are a perfect teacher is fooling themselves - at least that is what I think. The work you do with the young students pays off in dividends when they reach secondary school. I see, although much more subtly, struggles in young ladies' lives at the secondary level. Perhaps they did not have the support that you are giving students at the younger grades? There are too many variables. I do know that primary school education is so vitally important for student support. When they reach secondary levels and miss that support, it is usually far too late to make a significant difference in the young person's life.
C.
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